When people say that I don’t really have six kids, it really pisses me off. Ignorance is bliss perhaps under this circumstance. People who say that, aren’t capable of understanding our life, don’t want to understand our life or lastly don’t agree with our life.
4 years ago Paul and I met each other, I knew that he had 3 kids and he also knew that I had 2 kids. At the time our children were 9,7,4,3 and 2. His the older three and mine the younger two. Paul was introduced to my kids slowly but surely because I had my kids 5 days every week, so it was easier to do this. Paul’s kids were with him every other weekend, so the first time I met them they came to my house and stayed the entire weekend.
I cooked them dinner, I made what felt like a million pancakes breakfast (buying a griddle the evening before), I made their beds, but most importantly I opened my heart to them. The kids got along from the get go, playing basketball, hide go seek and dolls, they all genuinely connected. From that weekend on, every weekend they were with Paul, they were with me.
Paul and I got married just a couple of months later and we officially became a family. So at that point, they legally became my stepchildren. I tell them that I love them every time I see them, I tuck them into bed at night, they come to me when they need something. They ARE my kids. I think it is important for all our kids to understand and know that they can be every bit as important in each other’s lives, whether they are full blood, half or step siblings.
A couple months after Paul and I got married we found out we were pregnant. So now, we have a 2 year old together. Our “glue” I like to call him. The one that will make sure we are a family forever. He connects all of our children, he has no full blood siblings and never will. He has no clue that is even a thing though, he knows that he has 2 sisters and 3 brothers. As he should, who are you (the world) to tell him that it makes a difference?
I challenge you to consider why people think I shouldn’t claim all these children as mine? Is it because I didn’t physically give birth to all six of them? Would you ever tell someone who has adopted that they don’t really have kids? What about the couple who went through fertility problems and had to have a child through surrogate? Amongst the million other scenarios to which children are brought to parents other than biological pregnancy.
Or is it because they don’t live with me all the time? Do you tell the parents who are divorced and have split custodity that they are only parents the nights their children are in their house? What about children who have gone away to college, are they not yours anymore because they are no longer under your roof? Again, many different scenarios that arise to where your children aren’t living in your household, doesn’t mean they aren’t still yours.
We are in constant contact with our children’s other parents. We have amazing relationships with our exes, open communication and a lot of respect for one another. We provide for all the children even when they aren’t in our house, money comes out of our paycheck to see that they are supported, we provide them medical insurance as well. My budget is built around 6 children.
Every two weeks we have all six kids in our house for 3 days. It goes by WAY to fast. There are always tears when the older kids leave, we always look forward to the next time. They are MY kids. When college comes around I will be there to support them, when they are ready to be married I hope they will want me there and lastly when those grand babies start coming I hope they call me Nana. I do have six children. You don’t have to understand it, but I wish that you would respect it.