3 1/2 years and 2 days

Paul and I have now been married 3 1/2 years and 2 days.  A weird thing to point out, I understand.  Only yesterday while I was driving to work something occurred to me.  We have officially been married longer than my ex and I were when we broke up.  

Matt and I were married 1 day short of 3 1/2 years when the bomb dropped.  I am crazy about numbers and for no reason that I can explain, they mean something to me.  I directly relate activities and times to bad or good situations, then try to steer my life accordingly.  Trying to avoid the same set of circumstances.  It’s insane I know.

Paul sometimes thinks that I subconsciously get myself worked up about the numbers, anniversaries of things and that’s why my mood gets out of whack.  So perhaps that’s why I had a hard couple of days last week.  Without even realizing it, I may have been worried that something bad was about to happen.  

When Matt and I got married we had known each other for over 20 years.  Not a single person said, oh no you shouldn’t be getting married.  Most said, oh we always knew you two kids would end up together.  Then 3 1/2 short years later our union ended.  No one would have thought or predicted that.

When Paul and I got married, we had known each other for 5 1/2 months.  There were a lot of skeptics.  Friends and family that told of us of their genuine concern.  Of course we appreciated everyone looking out for us, but assured them that we were making the right choice for us.  I said it many times leading up to our wedding and many times since then when telling our love story.  

It goes likes this.  I knew my ex from church, for 25 years and yet, he was fully capable of breaking my heart.  So, how long should I have known him to guarantee my marriage would last or where would you have suggested that I meet him from?  Paul and I met online, and married after 5 1/2 months.  

The truth is it doesn’t matter where you met or how long you have known each other.  What matters is what two people are in the marriage and are they both truly IN the marriage. The second one person takes a step outside, it matters very little what the other person is doing inside.

Paul and I have been married 3 1/2 years and 2 days.  Not a typical celebratory “anniversary”.  It means something to me though.  We have successfully navigated through this crazy life longer together, than I had previously.  We are both still ALL IN this marriage.  Some days it’s hard and other days it’s harder.  Every single day we make it through together, is a success and a reason to celebrate. 

 

Published by Making Time For Me

Wife, Mother, Step Mom, Control Freak. 7 years into my second marriage and dedicated to making my home a chemical free safe haven <3

4 thoughts on “3 1/2 years and 2 days

  1. When it’s right, it’s right. You might have known each other for 2 days or 2 decades, but somehow you know when the good one comes along. A lot of us had that first marriage that was based on passion or just because “everyone else is doing it and I’m not getting any younger”, and then found the right partner the second time around. I tell my girls what my mother told me (and which I only listened to after my first divorce): for a marriage to work, the couple has to be friends first. Friendship endures, passion sometimes fades. I’m happy that you and Matt are still friends as well as lovers.

    Liked by 1 person

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