Ok…so as per usual on a Tuesday morning I am watching reality TV. Today I am watching the RHOOC episode from last night. Not more than five minutes in to the episode, my jaw dropped from something that one of the ladies said. I had a physical reaction, so what else would I do but blog about it?
There is a housewife whose husband has cheated on her and this is their family drama that they are trying to work through this season. Being that infidelity was ultimately the demise of my first marriage, I am always very interested as to how others deal with it. Especially those who choose to work through it.
Obviously, even though it is “reality” TV, many solutions and opportunities for these couples aren’t “real” opportunities to the rest of the world. Long couple retreats, vacations and time away from real life and the finest counsellors money can buy. This couple has done all those things, one thing I would have never thought to use to work through infidelity is a personal trainer.
Anyway, This particular lady is in the gym trying to get into shape. She says that she is 50 and is going to prove that at 50 she can get in the best shape of her life. This I think is awesome. I mean, in the last few months working out and being healthier has been huge for me, so I can relate. Her and her trainer are talking about how much she weighs, and start to take before pictures.
She pulls up her shirt to show the camera her “belly”. This is no belly, it may be a few extra pounds, it may not be as flat as she’d like, but I guarantee most 50 year olds would love to have that “belly”. She holds her shirt up and says “oh this is bad”. ” I am ready to take the weight off, because I need to stop looking at myself in the mirror justifying why my marriage crumbled apart. Saying this is why it happened because look what you’ve done to yourself. You’ve gained weight.” I am sorry, what?
You have at most 10 extra pounds on your body and you think that is the reason your husband cheated? If you want to lose the weight, I think that’s awesome. Do it for you. Do it because you want to be happier when you look in the mirror. Please don’t beat yourself up because of the extra pounds. Point fingers at your physical self as the reason why things went wrong. If those ten pounds were the only problem in your marriage, maybe you need to reevaluate.
As women we beat ourselves up enough on a daily basis. I think it is natural for women to take on a lot of the blame for things that go wrong in our households. With our families, kids, husbands. That is what it is, but the infidelity wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t because of those ten pounds. Infidelity is a CHOICE, always a choice.