Just a little bit scared

So……in theory I am doing the Detroit Free Press half Marathon on October 18th.  In practice, I can come up with a million reasons not to.

Not only have I not been training, which I am beating myself up for, but heading to the gym more now.  I went 7 times in the last 2 weeks, which is a vast turn around from the last 6 weeks of summer.  I am not making time to go out and do long runs.  This is not because I am lazy, but because other than first thing in the morning I have things that are more important to me, end of story.  

Our son has his football championship game the night before the race,2 hrs away in Ohio.  Which then makes me wonder, how and when I will pick up my packet.  We will have 4 kids at home the day of the run, so I am not sure how I would like to get down to the run.  Do I want to drive myself or ask someone to take me?  Lastly, I don’t even have my enhanced license yet.  I need to go and get that at the beginning of next week and hope that it arrives in the mail on time.

To be honest, all of these reasons are only reasons because I allow them to be.  I can honestly open up the race homepage and get all the info I need to make informed decisions.  What time can I pick up my race packet, where can/should I park the day of the race?  Depending on where they are, are these things I feel comfortable doing by myself or should I find someone to come with me?  

I am really just a little bit scared.  Scared to put myself back out there in a race like this.  Take that chance for the first time in 5 1/2 years.  Knowing that since I haven’t been training, my time will probably significantly decrease from my previous two half marathons.  I am constantly questioning my ability to complete it.  There is one really good reason to do it though, to prove to myself that I can.

At the gym I have been running on the treadmill, which really sucks and hurts my knees unlike running outside.  I have been trying something new, running for 8mins and then walking for 2.  It feels nice and I read somewhere that doing that helps your metabolism. 

This morning while doing this, it occurred to me, that with the pace that I walk, I could walk the entire half and finish around 3 hrs.  This is definitely slower than I would run it, but if that is the worst thing that happens, is that really all that bad? 

I have 3 weeks, I am going to keep pushing myself and I am going to go on the website and find out the answers to my questions.  Take this journey, move the 13.1 miles however I see fit and prove to myself that I still have it in me.