My Beautiful Boy

Today is my oldest biological child’s 8th Birthday!

He is truly the first person who taught me the meaning of unconditional love.  I remember finding out that I was pregnant with him.  One of the most special moments of my life.

I always knew that I wanted to be a Mom.  Just a few short weeks after getting married, it was right there “Pregnant” on a pregnancy test.  I was elated and so eager to start building this family.

He was due November 25th.  I gained 65 pounds throughout my pregnancy.  I was as big as a house.  My first doctor told me that I was too fat and needed to stop gaining weight.  Then, I found a new doctor…LOL!

At 10:22pm on November 28th, James Peter Valentino came into this world.  All 9lbs, 12oz and 20 inches of him.  After a 32 hour labor, a drug free delivery, everything I had ever wanted in this whole world was right there in my arms.  We didn’t find out if we were having a boy or a girl and I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t over the moon when it was boy.

Every single night as I laid him down to sleep, I would tell him how much I loved him.  How blessed I felt that God had chosen me to be his mother. That I was so in love with him, that I didn’t think I would ever adequately be able to convey that to him.

This little being would end up being my main man through my hardest times.  He didn’t know it, but he helped me so very much.  James showed me all the reasons why things had happened the way that they did.  If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t have been ready to have another baby so soon. Then our Jordan wouldn’t be Jordan.  When I went out on my own after 4 years of being married, this little man was the man of the house.

Whenever I listen to John Lennon’s song “Beautiful Boy”, I’m flooded with emotions about James.  Every single word minus the “daddy’s here” resonates with me.  I have dreams of dancing to this song with James at his wedding.  During my divorce, I listened to this song at least once a day. Reminding myself over and over again why I was working so hard to be strong.

I love him so ridiculously completely that I can’t put it into words.  Not to him, not on here.  There is no way to show how full my heart is with love because this boy made me a mother.  He is by far my most sensitive, tender child.  On a daily basis he runs up behind me and gives me a hug. While on the sofa watching football he simply says “love you mom”, without even looking over at me.

James completely gets it.  We have this bond, this incredible connection that only him and I will ever share.  Thank you God for giving me this little boy to mother.  Happy Birthday my Beautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful Boy!!!

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