Stop complaining and DO something

I have had quite a few conversations with people about this particular topic in the past.  For some reason though, it has been brought up multiple times in the last few days.  So, I decided to write my feelings about it.

I have a very limited bullshit tolerance.  I have an extremely hard time hearing somebody say something that I have a strong reaction to and not speaking up.  Yesterday, this happened while I was at my daughters dance class.  I had two women behind me engaged in what felt like the whiniest conversation ever.  I was trying not to listen (kind f), but while trying to read my book I could still hear them.

The one mom was talking about how there aren’t enough hours of the day (alright, so I think most of us can relate to that), but then goes on to talk about the piles of laundry all over her house.  She said that 90% of her laundry is done, but only about 70% folded and 50% put away. 

I know not everyone is like me, not everyone sees the entire laundry process as 1 complete thing, I am not done until everything is put away the way is should be.  However, she goes on to excuse why it is like that.  She puts in a load before going to the gym, then tries to remember to switch when she gets home.  She will sometimes get caught up in other cleaning, taking a shower or even taking a nap.  It is at this point I realize, she is a stay at home mom.

For the record, I am not against stay at home moms.  Her 3 kids are all school aged, which means she is home for 7 hrs everyday by herself.  Now, I can no longer wrap my head around the not enough hours in the day.  She then goes on to say, it’s always something. The kids have half days next week, I have conferences to go to and then they are on Christmas break.  

Yea, you should try having to figure out all of those things with a job that is outside of the house, in addition to being a full time wife, mother and homemaker.  Then, she went on to talk about the reason she has been taking naps, is because her daughters have been sleeping in bed with her.  WHAT?  This blew my mind.  

Maybe it is because I am a mean mom, but bed time is the ONLY time I get to just be Pauls wife.  Lay with him, relax and have my own space.  I have not once let any of my children sleep in bed with me after they were six months old.  They need their own space and time, just as much as I do.

Then ironically though, Noah woke up for over two hours last night.  From about 2 to 430 I was awake with him.  By awake with him, I mean that I continued to get up, but him back in his bed, tell him goodnight and close his door.  Yes, it is exhausting, but for me there has to boundaries.  It may have been easier to lay with him, but I don’t believe that would have been the best option.  I will not be able to take a nap during the day, and I will be exhausted at work I am sure.  

That being said, you will not hear me complaining to some other mom about how there are not enough hours in my day.  Bragging that I had the time to take a nap.  And oh, all of my laundry is washed, dried, folded and put away.  If you don’t like the way things are going, then doing something about it.

One more story from the last couple of days, the mom complaining about her daughter using a pacifier.  You are aware that you are the one that has given her the pacifier, right?  I personally, can not stand pacifiers.  I see no point in them, that being said, I understand why parents choose to use them.    Though, if you have made a choice to use them, continue to use them, what good does it do to complain about it?  Just take the damn thing away if you are over it.  

Sure the first few days will be hard, but I guarantee it will be worth it.  Not only will you be able to hear your daughter when she speaks, but her dental problems won’t continue to get worse.  Then that screaming that happens every time you forget her binky, it falls out of her mouth or you can’t find it, that will no longer be an issue. 

At 2+ years old, the chance that the kid just readily gives it up has significantly decreased.  So, if you hate it, pull the plug.  You are the adult, you make the decision.  Sometimes it is hard, but so worth it in the end.  I believe that setting up boundaries is extremely important on both ends of the parent/child relationship.  Whatever those boundaries are, if they work for you, then you shouldn’t have to complain about it.

Remember, you are the adult.  You set up the boundaries.  They can only push you as far as you let them.  No one said it was going to be easy, they just said it’d be worth it.

Published by Making Time For Me

Wife, Mother, Step Mom, Control Freak. 7 years into my second marriage and dedicated to making my home a chemical free safe haven <3

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