First, I’m going to start off by saying Thank you to Adele for the inspiration to write this blog.
Wednesday night while driving home from family dinner, I had my two daughters and my youngest son in the car. I was listening to my new Adele CD that I received for Christmas. The first song on it is Hello. I have heard this song multiple times, but for some reason it was hearing it this time that changed the whole meaning for me.
I would assume that most people listen to this song and think that it must be about an ex-lover. Well, while I listened to it this time, I realized it was Adele talking to her former self. After I got home, I googled what the song was about and from what I can tell, that is exactly it.
Lyrics by Adele:
“Hello, it’s me
I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet
To go over everything
They say that time’s supposed to heal ya
But I ain’t done much healing
Hello, can you hear me
I’m in California dreaming about who we used to be
When we were younger and free
I’ve forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet”
All I could think about was the me at the end of 2015 speaking to the me from 2010. The year that I believed my world had fallen apart and I would never get back to where I was supposed to be. Here I am at the end of 2015 though with everything I could have ever dreamed of and celebrating my 4th anniversary with a man I adore.
There was no way that 5 years ago I could have even imagined this life that I lead now. It was beyond my wildest dreams and so much more than I ever thought I could achieve.
More lyrics by Adele
“Hello from the other side
I must have called a thousand times
To tell you I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done
But when I call you never seem to be home”
I seriously listened to this song 5 times in a row on my way home from Detroit. The chorus hit me so hard, I was crying. I couldn’t stop listening to it. I spent years beating myself up, tearing myself down, hurting myself because of things that were in my past and beyond my control. Instead of just living life for what it is right now.
“Hello from the other side”. This is you 5 years later, you came out of it. All the hell that you were put through, all the tears and the heartache. You came out stronger and better because of it.
When you are beating yourself up, it is hard to remember that everything happens for a reason. It is hard to see that you are miles away from where you started. It is so easy to go down that spiral and question everything, try to change anything so that doom won’t strike again.
“I must have called a thousand times to tell you that I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done, but when I call you never seem to be home.”
My brain isn’t capable of remembering both of those things at the same time.When I am strong enough to reflect and think how far I have come, I no longer am seeing all the pain I was in. And when I feel all that pain I was in, it is so difficult to see that it all happened for a reason. The constant apology to myself for beating myself up for all that I must have done wrong.
Well, you are on the other side. 5 years ago on New Year’s Eve, I posted this to my timeline.
Little did I know how very true this was. 2011 is when I met Paul and exactly 1 year after this post, we got married. 2011 surely did bring me all the hope, opportunity and promise that I was looking for.
“Hello from the outside
At least I can say that I’ve tried
To tell you I’m sorry for breaking your heart
But it don’t matter it clearly doesn’t tear you apart anymore”
Here I am tying up 2015 and telling myself that it doesn’t tear me apart anymore. I needed to go through all of that in order to get to where I am now. Celebrating my 4th anniversary with a wonderful man, with a house full of children and a world full of love and laughter beyond my wildest imagination.
Thank you Adele for putting words to feelings I didn’t even know I had until last night. I hurt myself for too long and I can’t continue to do that anymore. I don’t need to apologize any longer because I am here now, in a place where it doesn’t tear me apart anymore.
I resolve to take this song and those words with me into 2016. Remember how very far I have come and who I have to in my life to thank for all the good.
“It’s no secret that the both of us
Are running out of time”
There is not enough time to stay stuck in the past. Take what you have been through, learn from it and move on in order to be the best you that you can be. Spend whatever time you have left saying Hello to the future instead of the past. Hello 2016!!