#40Notes40Days: Someone Who Walked with you Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death!

Paul-

There could be no other person for me to write this letter to.  For 4 years and 8 months you have been by my side.  Some would say that isn’t very long.  To them I say that is longer than any other person has, romantically.

In that time you have endured the wrath, the backlash, the aftermath of pain and hurt that you didn’t put me through.  You say that you knew what you were getting yourself into. Knowing full well that there hadn’t been much time between when my divorce was final and we started dating.

I’m not sure that we could have anticipated all that it has left you to deal with.  Holding me when I’m hurting for no reason.  Talking me off the ledge when I am irrationally scared that if we do one thing, it will automatically lead to a bad memory.  Having more patience with me then I have with anyone, let alone with myself.

I’d be willing to bet that you didn’t think that nearly 5 years later these demons would still haunt me.  Even though it may not seem like it, they haunt me less because of you.  I know what it is like to have someone in my your corner, someone who loves me, defends me and supports me now.  Sometimes, it is in knowing how good I feel, that I panic more that it is all going to go away.

Between the aftermath of my divorce and navigating the waters of co-parenting, you have kept me calm (way more calm that I could have been without you) most of the time.  You are typically the voice of reason, even when I can’t hear it.

Each day, week, month, year the valley gets less lonely and there is more light shining in. It is certainly a long and weary process, but I know that I can make it all the way out with you by my side.

I love you.  Thank you for loving me when it would have been easier not to.

 

40notes40days2014

Published by Making Time For Me

Wife, Mother, Step Mom, Control Freak. 7 years into my second marriage and dedicated to making my home a chemical free safe haven <3

6 thoughts on “#40Notes40Days: Someone Who Walked with you Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death!

  1. This hits home for me! I am avoiding…mainly because I know in my heart I am not yet “done” with my husband/whatever I call him, and that I would not be a good partner, even for anything just casual, at the moment. 5 years is a long time….however time is irrelevant when dealing with emotions and the loss of a marriage….so that 5 year term cannot be measured other than in calendar days/months etc. You give me hope that someday, my “time” will be less painful and happier. Thanks for this writing. Was great to go with my emotions and morning coffee:-)

    Liked by 1 person

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