I Know and Thank You

Last night while catching up on my Blog reading, a blog fell into my reader that I opened up.  I read the whole thing and something clicked….I am pretty sure that the person writing this blog is my kids other Mom (step-mom).

I went back and read a few more and just kept nodding.  This is a blog that I follow, that has followed me.  I believe I have nominated for awards and have even re-blogged some amazing posts from.

It can be difficult to read about how you are seen from someone else’s eyes.  The things that they feel about you, the way that you make them feel about you.  The hurt, pain and double standard that you have brought to their life.

I read quite a few of your posts last night, there wasn’t much that I didn’t know or couldn’t have assumed.  I am over-bearing, I do have a hard time communicating when it comes to certain people/issues and I don’t always make the best decisions.

What I want you to know is that I do respect you.  I respect how you feel, what you write and your truth.  I know that you love our kids and I do believe that they are “Our Kids”.  I know that being in a relationship with me isn’t easy (I promise, I know this) this is why I go to therapy now.  I am working on it!

Blogging is part of my therapy, just as it seems that it is for you.  Just the way that I feel, sometimes only in the moment, but getting it out in writing makes me feel so much better.

There have been a lot of times in our relationship where you had to be the bigger person, for that I am sorry.  You do take the high road a lot and in this family, you are often the only one that calms me down.  Ironic, right?  I make your blood boil and some how you make me realize that I am a crazy person.  I know…and I am sorry.

I don’t have this down, not even after all these years.  I am trying harder every day though. Being a step-mom isn’t easy, I know, I am one too.  I appreciate that you listen to me bark at you on the phone, when it obviously would be much easier for you not to.

I just wanted to tell you that I know.  And….that I am assuming you already know who I am as, I put pictures up and a picture of me is my avatar.  I promise not to get my feathers ruffled by your posts, I want you to keep posting.  I have been following you for awhile now and have respected your posts since then.  That doesn’t change just because they are more personal now.

Thank you for showing me how you see me.  I will continue to work harder to be better, nicer and more respectful.  That way you may not feel like you have to take the high road so often, it will just be the road that we are naturally walking down.