Tuesday at Ten Post: {HEAL}

When you type in healing on Google, this is the first thing that comes up.
“the process of making or becoming sound or healthy again.”
“the gift of healing”
 “tending to heal; therapeutic.”
 “a healing experience”
When I saw that {HEAL} was the word this week, I knew that I had to write.  It has been a little while since I have posted on Tuesday at Ten.  Not for any really good reason, just no word that just spoke to me so much that I felt I needed to create a post around it.
Then my friend, who also happens to be my kids’ stepmom beat me to the punch.  She wrote a little bit about what I was planning to write about, all the better though really. That just means that this story really has worked to “heal” us both.
I have felt better in my relationships over the last week then I have in nearly 6 years.  This is because last week a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders.
Through the blogosphere, I found Jess, my kids stepmom.  I followed her, unknowingly (she blogged anonymously) for months.  I mean, that is a crazy set of circumstances and coincidences that we were both blogging on the same side and out of millions of blogs/bloggers we found each other!!
I wrote a blog about thinking that I knew it was her.  Then reached out to her through text to see if it was and that lead to SO MUCH communication.  Honest and Real communication.
That communication has been a huge part of the “healing” process.  Just being able to openly talk to someone is wonderful.  It feels so incredible to not worry about what you say or if you are “bothering” them and that possibly they look forward to hearing from you.
While we spoke last week, Jess offered me an apology.  An apology for how much she hurt me.  It was so simple, but so needed.  For 6 years I have wanted an apology of some sort and I don’t believe that I have ever received one.  Maybe I did, but I wasn’t in the frame of mind to hear it or accept it.
This apology from Jess allowed me to take some of the weight off my shoulders that I have been carrying for years.  The weight of the blame, the shame and the failure.  The “its all my fault” and the “what did I do that was so wrong?”  It made it possible for me to understand that it wasn’t all me.  That was healing.
I then apologized to her.  Apologized for the way that I made her feel all those years ago and many times since then.  The thing is, that healed me just as much.  Being able to tell this person who hurt me more than anything that I was sorry, admitting that just because I was hurt didn’t mean that it was OK that I treated her the way that I did, I believe that took some weight off too.  Hearing an apology, being able to accept the apology and offering an apology of my own.  That was healing.
Now Jess is my friend.  And we will continue on this road of healing together, hopefully getting to a place where I get along with my ex even better.  For now though, my heart is so happy and my soul is calm (thanks Jess).

Published by Making Time For Me

Wife, Mother, Step Mom, Control Freak. 7 years into my second marriage and dedicated to making my home a chemical free safe haven <3

4 thoughts on “Tuesday at Ten Post: {HEAL}

  1. Yes, that apology received and the one given…it always helps in the healing to do that! Thank you for sharing your experience…and I pray that you and Jess continue as friends for a long time!!

    Stopping by from Tues. @ Ten…

    Liked by 1 person

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