You know what I realized today??? Today I realized that my ex hasn’t been the problem in my life for the last 6 years. His wife hasn’t been the problem in my life for the last 6 years. The infidelity hasn’t even been the problem in the last 6 years.
I have been the problem. Holding on to all that emotion from 6 years ago, has been my problem. And for what? The hurt, the pain, the bickering and fighting. What did that accomplish? How did this help anyone, ever?
Taking it all too personally for way too long.
I had faith that it would all work out. That is was all part of a master plan. I had faith that things happened just as they should have. Faith, that even though I couldn’t understand it, at some point, it would all make sense.
Lucky for me, I found a wonderful man about 5 years ago now. A man who hasn’t given up on me. Who never left and never lost faith in me finding my way . Not only has he always been my rock, my solid ground and my support, but he has been faithful.
Something that I certainly needed in this marriage. I need someone who I could have faith in and who would show faith in me. Years of paranoia, worrying about where he is, what he is really doing and who he is talking to on the phone, GONE. I don’t have that any more. I have faith instead.