What Do You Think About….Lowering Your Expectations?

My friend Tikeetha over at A Thomas Point of View wrote a post yesterday about perspective that inspired my thoughts for this post.  Go over and take a look, she is brilliant.

I have written a couple of posts that touch on the subject, but haven’t really used it as a focus.

Lowering our Expectations!!  What does that mean to you?  At first if you read it or think about it, you might think that you are devaluing things or getting less than you deserve. That isn’t what it is really about though.

It is about the concept that just because you have a certain standard of measure, doesn’t mean that everyone does or even that everyone should.  What a “full” garbage can looks like to you, might not be to your roommate.  Or the fact that you can’t live with dirty dishes in the sink, doesn’t mean that your husband is wrong because it doesn’t bother him.

There have been many times in the last 5 years where Paul and I have had conversations around this subject.  It has come up when talking about what I want from him, kids, friends, co-workers and even my ex-husband.

I like a neat and tidy house.  So, a pair of socks on the floor will drive me crazy.  Though, the men in my house don’t even see them.  They WILL NEVER care about the pair of socks on the floor and I can’t make them.  In fact, it would actually be easier if I could not give a crap about the dirty socks on the floor.

Our youngest son, Noah will be 4 next week.  He drives me bonkers.  He whines and cries WAY more than I remember any of the other kids screaming.  I always say, well James and Jordan grew out of this by now.  Paul always reminds me that Noah is a different kid.  It isn’t fair for me to constantly compare him and expect the same things from him as I got from the other kids.

For a long time I had this quote up on my cube at work:

expectations

Now, I can’t pretend that I have this down yet.  I still need to work on it.  Though, there is certainly something to it.  What do you think?

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11 thoughts on “What Do You Think About….Lowering Your Expectations?

  1. Great ideas! I think there is a different between lowering our expectations and changing our expectations. I wouldn’t want to lower my expectations of the work my kids produce at school. I could change my expectation of how clean they keep their room. Hmm perhaps you just inspired a blog post! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I agree with this 100%! On certain things, maybe not lowering expectations but for the little things that seem to only drive me up a wall, I’ll give a try! Also raising some expectations. Nikki is a lot like you when you’re describing the sock incident, me on the other hand, I can walk around that sock for 2-3 weeks, idc. Maybe raising some expectations would be good for me as well, picking up that sock, doing some extra dishes, just to see how it is, maybe!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I completely agree but it is difficult. I think in order to really lower our expectations and accept others the way they are with their “flaws” that drive us crazy, we have to step out of our selfish self. I am still working on that 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is one tough nut to crack successfully, for me anyway. I’m old enough to not waste my time with toxic people, so that is the first filter. Lowering the bar may be too hard. Changing the level of relationship – perhaps. But is it worth it?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, thank you so much. There are obviously circumstances in which lowering your expectations is not going to happen. However, there are a lot of them that we would simply be happier if we lowered.

      Like

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