My husband was made aware of something over the weekend that lead us to some really deep and at times dark conversation.
Men….you guys just don’t get it! I mean honestly, for the most part, you just don’t get it.
I am lucky enough to have a voice, a voice that I will use to say just about anything that is on my mind. I am not easily embarrassed, so if I feel like it, I will call you out and make it known that I am disgusted.
By the time I was 13 years old I had been sexually harassed 3 times. By 3 different boys, at both school and church. I matured pretty early. I was wearing a bra by the time I was in 4th grade and not just for fun, but because I actually had to.
Boys quite literally didn’t know how to react to boobs. Yes, that is right, I said it!!! These boys hadn’t been taught that they can’t just say whatever they want or act however they want, just because they want to. My husband even said this weekend, boys don’t understand, it is like a primal urge to just see boobs and think…awesome! (Those weren’t his exact words, but you get the point)
I get that. Honestly I do. Not to excuse men at all, but I get that they think about bodies and sexuality differently then women. I believe that for the most part young women and teenage girls can’t even comprehend the differences between how males and females are wired differently.
Every single time I was harassed, I stood up for myself. I yelled, I said “no” and honestly I embarrassed the young boy. I went to my superior in whichever setting and told them IMMEDIATELY. Even then, I felt like I was teaching them a life lesson. You can’t just go around doing whatever you want to do, regardless of other people’s feelings. Maybe just maybe, those 3 boys went on to understand from that young age that there is a better way!
You don’t have to keep your mouth shut. When you don’t like what is happening, you have every right to say something, and you should say something. Here I am 25 years after those incidents took place and I am OK. I am OK, because I genuinely feel that I stood up for myself and made it known to those individuals that what they did was NOT OK.
No man, not even a young boy , your own husband or anyone in between has the right to make you feel like you have to accept an unwanted advance. You quite simply…don’t have to.
I feel blessed to be able to have such deep conversations with my husband about this kind of thing. Conversations where I know that he hears me and I believe that he is allowing me to teach him something.
“Do you know what it feels like for a girl
Do you know what it feels like in this world for a girl” -Madonna