I read Eat, Pray, Love like 11 years ago.  Then 4 days before my 40th birthday the movie came out into the theater.  I went to the movies by myself to see it during the most difficult time of my life.  A couple of days ago I finished the book Eat, Pray, Love: Made Me Do It.  That got me thinking about the past decade.

10 years ago I found myself realizing that I had lost myself.  I didn’t recognize the woman in the mirror anymore.  The smiles, the laughter and the fun were all gone.

I had gotten married just a few years before and I dove head first into what I thought that marriage needed to look like.  First a baby, then buying a home, then another baby.  Meanwhile, I had left my job that I loved to stay at home.

I was chipping away at everything that made me, me.  I was a Mom and a pretty good one at that, a wife (I didn’t do so good at that job), an active member of my church and a friend to many.  Where was Stephanie though?  Who was Stephanie at nearly 30 years old?  I had forgotten to think about what I needed, while I thought I was taking care of everyone else.

Many things happened back then to shift my thinking and to change my life.  Over the last 6 or so years I have made it a priority to do things for me. Starting with this blog called “Making Time For Me.” Even if the only minutes I can find every day are to post here, it is only for me.

I have made time to work out, because when I exercise I feel better.  When I feel better, I am giving my best to everyone else, including myself.  I read, I write, I do side gigs here and there, I do yoga.

My husband encourages these things.  When I get up out of bed and do yoga in our bedroom on a Saturday morning, he thinks nothing of it.  When I can’t sit still and decide to go for a very long walk outside in the middle of the day, he just smiles and tells me to be careful.  He follows my blog and I believe reads it pretty regularly when I post.  My children understand that Mom needs some her time.  To be my best self and to love them the best that I know how, I need to love me to.

I am for sure still a work in progress.  When I got married the first time I dropped my maiden name and took on my husband’s name.  Over the following 4 years, I then lost my identity.  When I married Paul, I decided to drop my middle name of Lynn, that had no family meaning.  I made my maiden name my middle and then took Paul’s as my last.  I don’t ever want to lose who I am again.  Keeping my name is a gentle reminder of that!

 

Published by Making Time For Me

Wife, Mother, Step Mom, Control Freak. 7 years into my second marriage and dedicated to making my home a chemical free safe haven <3

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3 Comments

  1. Thanks for your authenticity Stephanie. We all play roles and lose ourselves along the way don’t we. But eventually we find our way back to our true selves. Sounds like you’re there, or at least well on your way. Take care 💜

    Liked by 1 person

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