I have had multiple conversations with friends in the last 24 hours about running. It seems to be popping up everywhere.
Once upon a time, nearly 11 years ago I took up running. After my daughter was born and I needed to lose the baby weight. My son and daughter are just 17 months apart, so I didn’t lose all the weight from my son before I was pregnant. By the time I had my daughter I had about 45 pounds that I was looking to lose.
A couple of friends were talking about picking up running, so I thought, why not? I started out VERY slow. It took me so long to even be able to push myself to run a mile without stopping or walking at all. I slowly built up to a 5k, then a 10k and then a half marathon. Like 1 week after I started running I signed up for a half marathon. What in the world was I thinking?
I trained, I kicked ass, I lost weight and I felt like a million bucks. I ran that half marathon and it was one of the most rewarding things that I have ever done in my life. Then about 6 months later, I ran my 2nd half marathon. Then about 4 months after that, I stopped running.
I thought that I gave up running because of a huge turn in life events. Going through a divorce, working every single second that I didn’t have my kids and simply not making time to exercise. I lost the heart for the sport that I had just developed love for 1.5 years prior.
I would then spend the better part of the next 10 years pushing myself to find that love again. The passion for the sport that I once enjoyed and found therapy in. I didn’t want to accept that my divorce had taken the will to run away from me. It wasn’t until just recently, like this January that I realized I don’t find joy in running any more.
When I think about setting out on a run, I think UGH!! When I think about setting out on a walk, I am happy and energetic. So, why continue to push myself to think that I need to run? Honestly, I can walk just about as fast as I run anyway. At my best I run like a 10 minute mile and I can walk a mile in like 13 minutes…so why not just walk when it brings me so much joy?
In January after 9.5 years of struggling, I gave myself permission to say F running!! I walk, I walk for miles and I LOVE it. Running no longer brings me joy, so I don’t do it ❤
Making Time For Me 
I can understand, not sure why we sometimes do things that are not joyful… I love walking to, it gives me time to indulge in nature to feel the interconnectiveness that I remember running didn’t… it was more of a mind game that getting older, wiser seems to have left behind. Much love Barbara x
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