I am a huge Survivor fan. As I sit here and watch the latest episode, I am thinking about what we are currently going through here in Michigan. One of the participants said that she needs 2 tattoos. One on the left arm that says endure and one on the right that says let go. Endure and Let Go, so that she can remember that both are OK.
In this pandemic, this stay at home order, this time of shaking mental stability and uncertainty, I want to remember that it is both OK to endure and to let go. Keep taking on the day to day. Pushing hard to accomplish what needs to be done. Making meals, homeschooling, doing laundry, getting fresh air and exercise, while making sure to check in regularly with all those that are important to me.
Let go of all the craziness. The idea that I know better than someone else. The notion that anyone knows for certain what is right and what is wrong. Let go of people who post negligent information on social media. Take a deep breath when I feel that someone else’s post is saying something about me and who I am.
I have a hard time relinquishing control. I turn into a crazy when I feel like my life is out of control. I over compensate and try to then control all of the little things in the day to day making not just myself miserable, but all of those around me as well.
Yesterday I listened to a podcast by Brene Brown. First off the podcast is called “Unlocking Us.” The episode was from April 3rd called Anxiety, Calm + Over/Under-Functioning. When it comes to my anxiety, the way that I deal with it is to over function. I do too much, I keep my mind busy and try to have my hand on everything to bring myself a sense of control.
It can be said that I do this because I am the oldest child in my family. It can be because I have made my way through a traumatic situation and the only option I felt that I had was to over function. I think that the reason why I do it is because I don’t like to leave what happens in my life up to anyone but me. I don’t like to sit on the sidelines and watch my life pass me by.
The best thing that I can do during this time where my anxiety is likely to get out of control is to endure and let go. Keep moving through it. Keep getting up out of bed and drinking my cup of coffee. Keep telling my kids that I love them, hugging them when I can and making them feel safe. Continue to celebrate the little moments and enjoy the memories we are making that wouldn’t otherwise be made.
As an anxious person who is most comfortable when I over function, I am going to work harder to endure and let go!!