Making Time For Me

What Do You Think About…Therapy

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Making Time For Me

I had a therapy session yesterday (I will write about that tomorrow).  Though, reflecting back on it this morning I think about how my view on Therapy has changed dramatically.

My ex husband went to therapy every week for a year when we were first together.  I used to ask him “how did it go?”  “Do you feel like you are getting anything out of it?”  I never meant for him to tell me about what was talked about behind the closed doors, I just always wondered if it felt worth it.

A couple of times he said to me “yea, I like it”, “but, you, you wouldn’t get anything out of it.”  I don’t think that the ever meant that in a bad way at all, just meant that listening to someone else tell me about my problems, probably wasn’t something I was going to voluntarily do (and he was SO right).

When I first discussed going to therapy with my husband Paul, I flipped out.  More than anything, I was scared that if I went to therapy they would try to put me on medication. Medicine is NOT my thing (maybe I will write about that on a different day).

It took me like another 8 months to even make a phone call to find out about therapy (and this was nearly 4 years into our marriage).  Which, was about 5 1/2 years after I probably should have sought out therapy to begin with.

Now after seeing Hillary for 10 months, I feel much different.  I look very forward to seeing her, talking to her about how life has shifted in one way or another since I last saw her. I’m not embarrassed to be seen in the office or to write about it on here.  It is just a part of my life now.  A part that is healing me in a big way.

So…what do you think about Therapy?  Are you like my former self where you feel like it is all a bunch of “hooey?”  Or are you like my present self where you believe it can do real good for someone?

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14 responses to “What Do You Think About…Therapy”

  1. Lisa Pomerantz Avatar
    Lisa Pomerantz

    I’m a big believer in therapy. The world is hard and having a nonjudging person to talk to is wonderful. I wish I could afford it now. But hey, that’s why I blog! Bravo for having the courage to go and work on your crap. It’s a gift to yourself.

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  2. Kourtney Johnson Avatar
    Kourtney Johnson

    I love therapy. I’ve seen a counselor on and off since I was 10, and I definitely see a difference in myself when I am actively in it vs. the times I’m not.

    Liked by 2 people

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  3. Tikeetha T Avatar
    Tikeetha T

    Nope. I believe in therapy. Many black people still don’t believe in therapy and think you can just pray your pain away, but if you’re suffering from depression you can’t find peace because of the noise. We still need professionals to help us find our way. I’ve always said that black people need three things: Jesus, wine and therapy.

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  4. Elisabeth Avatar
    Elisabeth

    I am biased of course, being a therapist. Research shows that the quality of the therapeutic relationship you have with your therapist predicts outcome.

    I believe in feedback. I ask every client what was helpful, what they got out of it, and I ask for negative feedback so I can help them better. I ask them to rate the session.

    I also believe in referring a client who is getting stuck with me, or to consult with a colleague (with the client’s consent) to obtain a different view. Clients ask me “what is your approach”, and I say: “what works for you”!

    Too many psychologists and therapists use a cookie-cutter approach when it comes to anxiety and depression, it is CBT, but not all clients benefit from this and not all clients think that way….as it is “logical” but not for all, and nearly scientific, but there is more out there than CBT.

    Many therapists are not trained in the classics…it is a shame…as the classics form the basics for all the 400+ approaches available now. There is nothing new, it is implementing what works for the client based on the clients’ worldview. Not all therapists get that.They need to listen to their client and use the micro-skills which mean mostly LISTENING and validating before they do anything else.

    As for medication…. there can be a need for , but there is too many prescriptions given to clients who can do without and they have side effects.

    I encourage everyone to be very open and honest to your therapist and tell them what was helpful and what was not. You also have every right not to come back when your therapist is not getting you…or does not go where you need to go.

    About affordability, I hope that many therapists do what I do and what I tell my students…make it work for them. A payment arrangement, email contact to limit session numbers, and/or work Pro-Bono when a client really needs help NOW and cannot get it. If therapists do not want to do that, they are in the wrong profession.

    Elisabeth

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    1. Berni Avatar
      Berni

      To Elesabeth, the therapist: only a woman can think this way. I salute the Eve in you.

      Liked by 2 people

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      1. Elisabeth Avatar
        Elisabeth

        Thank you!

        Liked by 2 people

  5. sunshinelifeforme Avatar
    sunshinelifeforme

    While I wish I wasn’t in a place in my life where I felt the need to seek therapy, now that I have, I do look forward to it and I have learned much about myself, even just after a few months.

    Liked by 2 people

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  6. Patricia Avatar
    Patricia

    Therapy is good. I went to 3 different ones before I found Hailey and I look forward to handing her all of my anxieties and mess and she sorts through it and shows me how to manage said mess.

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  7. bethanyk Avatar
    bethanyk

    The right therapist, who i have now, can lead you to making better choices, help you get a better understanding of why you made the choices you did, and help to heal as you mive forward. Only the right therapist! I want to go and feel better when i leave. But that wasnt the case in the past for other therapists.

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  8. Elisabeth Avatar
    Elisabeth

    I love it that you all looked until you found the right fit. In the past people were too intimidated or too polite and less assertive and either did not come back or kept on going to someone who was not the right fit. I am pleased that this is changing.

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  9. aisforanzal Avatar
    aisforanzal

    I have a very simple opinion about therapy and that’s that i need it. I have alot of friends to talk to about things in my life but it never helps like i feel it should. Also there are things i dont feel so comfortable talking about and maybe in a protected space i would be more willing to do so. Overall, even though its not something that ive tried i feel like its something useful but that would definitely depend on the quality of the therapist that you choose to visit.

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  10. watchmesurvive Avatar
    watchmesurvive

    Thank you for taking the time to write this, I often say not all therapists are created equal. I love the connection and feedback I get from my current therapists, unfortunately my first experience wasn’t the same. I also have conflict with some practices but that’s a long story.
    Anyhow I wasn’t always a believer of therapy, I did not mock like like some of my friends do I just didn’t think it was for me. I go weekly now and more likely continue in some level for the rest of my life. Thank you for what you do. M

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  11. Berni Avatar
    Berni

    I find meditation the best therapy.

    When I think, Jesus thinks with me. “It’s not time that heals, it’s Jesus who heals” ~ anonymous blogger.

    God has provided me with blogging, which also provides therapeutic effects.

    Sometimes, I write to my brothers or friends and that, too, provides a lot of insight and therapeutic effect.

    I also find these two tips/exercises very helpful.

    1. Take a couple deep breaths.
    2. Close your eyes and imagine a bad situation. Imagine yourself behaving calmly.

    Wish you good luck.

    P.S. I hate shrinks and I need anti-convulsants to fall asleep.

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