Last night when my husband got home from work we had some deep conversation. I really love and appreciate the fact that we can do this. Get below the surface, say what is on our minds and value each other’s opinions. This is part of a 3 day conversation that I started talking about yesterday in my post Me Too.
In this conversation, I had a really hard time wrapping my head around the fact that a woman would choose to be involved with a man whom she couldn’t confide in. Paul said that the reason I have that as an expectation for men is because that is what my dad taught me to expect.
I absolutely love that my husband understands my relationship with my dad enough to know that this is the case. He can tell from my stories and now from present time, that my dad doesn’t judge me. That he allows me to come to him with whatever problems I’m facing and works with me to solve them. My dad teaching me that this is how a man should treat a woman, then led me to have that expectation for my husband. Even though Paul has only been around for 7 years, it says a lot that he is confident that this has been how my dad has treated me my whole life.
Thank God!! I can’t imagine a world where I have things on my mind that I can’t bring to my husband. Not feeling 100% confident that he’d comfort me, console me and help me solve whatever is going on. Of course on the other hand, laugh with me, joke with me and tell me when I’m making a fool of myself too.
Over the last couple of days I have realized a couple of things. 1. I hope that I’m raising my son’s in a way that they will be there to support whomever is by their side. 2. I hope that my daughters expect to be able to be open and honest with whomever is by their side. 3. Lastly… my husband thinks I’m on the same intellectual level as him. (seriously maybe the highest compliment he’s ever paid me because he’s honestly one of the most intelligent people I’ve ever met)
I choose my husband. Every day, even when it is difficult. I choose him because I can be myself with him, because I can have deep and meaningful conversation with him and because he is the first person I want to tell everything to. Anything that is on my heart or in my mind, for good or for bad.